Are you sabotaging amazing relationships without even realizing it? Finding yourself in the same exhausting cycle of pushing away the good ones while attracting emotionally unavailable people? Girl, you're not broken—you're just stuck in subconscious patterns that are totally healable! 💕

Ready to Ditch the Relationship Anxiety For Good?

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The Shocking Truth About Your Relationship Patterns

Let me start with some real talk, gorgeous: if you keep attracting the same type of emotionally unavailable person OR you're pushing away genuinely good people, you are the common denominator. 🙈

I know that might sting a little, but hear me out! This isn't about blame or shame—it's about empowerment. Because once you understand WHY this keeps happening, you can actually do something about it.

Whether you're:

• Fighting over Instagram likes when he just told you he loves you
• Sending 17-page texts even though you KNOW it'll start a fight
• Feeling anxious with someone who's never given you a reason not to trust them
• Getting triggered by finding a photo of his ex when he wants you to move in

You're operating from your subconscious programming, not your logical mind. And babe, your logical mind doesn't stand a chance against years of ingrained patterns.

Why We Love Familiar Chaos (Yes, Really!)

Here's something that might blow your mind: we love familiar familiarity to the point where we love a familiar crisis. 🌀

Your comfort zone isn't actually comfortable—it's just familiar. And for many of us high-achieving girlies, that familiar feeling is stress and pushing.

Think about it: you probably didn't climb that corporate ladder or build your business by being chill and going with the flow. You got there by pushing, striving, and controlling outcomes. Sound familiar?

But here's the plot twist—that same energy that makes you successful in your career can absolutely wreck your relationships. In love, we need to learn how to be rather than just do.

The Burnout Connection You're Missing

I'm going to share something super personal that changed everything for me. When I was experiencing major burnout (work, surgery, hormonal chaos—the whole shebang), I was also completely sabotaging my relationships. 😮‍💨

I was in leadership roles, running multiple businesses, and literally couldn't say no. I was proving myself constantly—at work AND in my relationships.

The same subconscious desire for approval and validation that was burning me out at work was making me over-explain, over-give, and over-compensate in my love life.

We live under systems (hello, capitalism!) that condition us to believe our worth comes from our performance. But relationships? They're about who you're BEING, not what you're DOING.

Your Subconscious Is Running the Show

Here's what's really happening when you "can't help yourself" from sending that text or starting that fight: your subconscious mind has taken over.

Your logical mind knows better. You KNOW you're about to create drama. You KNOW this isn't a big deal. But you literally feel like you can't stop yourself.

That's clue number one that your subconscious patterns are driving the bus. And gorgeous, you can't out-think or out-will your subconscious.

The solution isn't more strategies or tips—it's getting to the root of WHY you're acting from your wound instead of your healed, whole self.

The High-Achiever's Relationship Trap

If you're crushing it in your career but struggling in love, there's a specific reason why. You've learned that love and connection come from doing and achieving.

But healthy relationships have nothing to do with what you DO and everything to do with who you're BEING. ✨

Can you:

• BE with your emotions (the good AND the bad)?
• BE okay even when things aren't okay?
• BE loving and kind to yourself when you mess up?
• BE content with what's present right now?
• BE open and flexible when things shift?

If you're focused on DOING instead of BEING, your relationships will feel forced, flat, and constantly on edge.

Breaking the Cycle: Cultivating Observational Awareness

The first step to healing these patterns is developing observational awareness. This means learning to observe your behaviors, decisions, and actions as separate from who you ARE. 👑

You are not your thoughts. You are not your actions. You are not your behaviors.

When you can create that separation and see your patterns without judgment, that's when real healing begins. You start asking better questions like "What's driving this behavior?" instead of "What's wrong with me?"

Next Steps For The Anxious Girly

If you resonated with this episode (and I know you did, boo!), here are your next steps:

1. Start noticing your patterns without judgment - Get curious about when you feel the urge to "fix" or control in your relationship
2. Practice being present in your body - Your nervous system holds the key to breaking these cycles
3. Examine how stress outside your relationship affects your love life - External factors absolutely impact how you show up with your partner
4. Join the Healing Girl Gang for support from other girlies on the same journey

Remember, healing isn't linear. No effort is wasted! You're exactly where you need to be on your journey to becoming secure. And trust me when I say that the peace on the other side is SO worth it.

Key Moments in This Episode

• [0:05] Introduction to pushing good people away vs. attracting the wrong ones
• [2:08] The bigger concept of subconscious actions and patterns
• [4:15] How work burnout connects to relationship sabotage
• [9:01] Why we subconsciously love familiar chaos and comfort zones
• [11:17] The wrestling match between logical and subconscious mind
• [15:13] Cultivating observational awareness to heal patterns
• [20:04] How external stress impacts your relationship dynamics

Related Posts You'll Love:

• 4 Anxious Attachment Mistakes High-Achievers Make (And How to Fix Them)
• How to FEEL more SECURE in Your Relationship (for overachieving women)
• Stopping the Systemic Self Sabotage and Relationship Anxiety
• When You Want More Effort From Your Partner (But It's Actually About You)

Remember gorgeous, your healing journey is unique. Be gentle with yourself, and know that you're never alone in this process. The Healing Girl Gang has your back! 💫