Healing Anxious Attachment

For high-achieving women who crush it everywhere except love. Discover how to stop overthinking, trust your intuition, and build the secure relationship you've always wanted—without dimming your shine.

How to Stop Overthinking When the Vacation Ends

anxious-attachment-healing overthinking-after-vacation post-trip-anxiety post-vacation-anxiety relationship-anxiety-triggers relationship-insecurity vacation-overthinking Jul 04, 2025

Just got back from an amazing trip with your partner, but now you're spiraling about what it all meant? Girl, that post-vacation anxiety is hitting HARD—and you're definitely not alone in this! Let me help you break free from that overthinking cycle. 💕

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Why Post-Vacation Overthinking Happens (You're Not Crazy!)

Okay gorgeous, let's get real about what's happening here. You just had this incredible, meaningful time together—maybe you traveled somewhere special, created beautiful memories, or had those deep connection moments that made your heart full. And then BAM! The moment you're heading home, your brain starts the spiral. 🌀

This isn't because you're dramatic or broken. It's because significant experiences create emotional charge, and the more meaningful we make a trip internally, the bigger the impact when it ends. Your nervous system is literally processing the shift from this heightened state of connection back to "regular life."

I totally get this because Craig and I just went through this exact thing after our month-long trip to Japan and the Philippines. Talk about significant! He was seeing where my parents met, our family property, all these deep generational moments. The meaning I attached to that trip was HUGE.

And you know what happened the moment we got on that plane leaving Manila? Hello, overthinking spiral! Even after all my healing work, that old pattern tried to creep back in.

The Sneaky Pattern That's Keeping You Stuck

Here's what's really happening when you start overthinking after vacation ends: your brain is trying to control the uncontrollable. ✨

You start asking yourself questions like:

Did this trip mean as much to them as it did to me?
What's next for us?
Are they going to be distant now that we're back?
Did I read too much into those special moments?

This is your anxiety trying to predict and control the future because you're feeling vulnerable. When we have those deep, meaningful experiences, it opens us up—and that vulnerability can feel scary as hell! 🙈

Your overthinking brain thinks if it can just figure out what everything meant and what's coming next, then you'll feel safe. But spoiler alert: overthinking never actually creates the safety you're seeking!

Why Second-Guessing Kicks Into Overdrive

One of the biggest things that can happen post-vacation is what I call the "second-guessing spiral." You start questioning EVERYTHING:

Was I attractive enough during the trip?
Did they have as good a time as I did?
Maybe I was too much or not enough?
What if they're comparing me to other people they saw?

Boo, let me tell you something: if they're WITH you on vacation, they want to be there! But your anxious attachment brain doesn't trust that simple truth because it's operating from a place of fear rather than self-trust. 👑

The real issue isn't whether they had a good time—it's that you don't trust yourself enough to believe that you're worthy of their continued love and attention without constantly performing or proving your worth.

The External Validation Trap That's Making It Worse

Here's where things get really sneaky. If your partner is wonderful and reassuring (like the listener Jennifer described in my podcast), you might get addicted to that external validation. It feels SO good when they tell you they love you or reassure you about the relationship!

But here's the thing: when you become dependent on external validation, you're essentially becoming a junkie for reassurance. And just like any addiction, you need more and more of it to feel satisfied. 🤒

Then when they can't provide that constant reassurance (because hello, they have their own life!), you start "scratching" at yourself mentally, creating all kinds of drama and stories about what their absence means.

This is exactly what happened to Jennifer when her military boyfriend went on deployment. Three weeks without contact sent her into full panic mode—not because anything was actually wrong, but because she'd become dependent on his reassurance to feel okay.

Self-Trust: Your Secret Weapon Against Post-Vacation Anxiety

The antidote to all this overthinking? Building bulletproof self-trust. 💪

When you have solid self-trust, you don't need to overthink because you know in your bones that:

You're worthy of love just as you are
If someone doesn't want to be with you, they weren't really yours anyway
You can handle whatever comes next
The right relationship will unfold naturally without you forcing it

Self-trust isn't just a concept—it's a FEELING. When you have it, that constant mental chatter gets quiet. You stop needing to analyze every interaction because you trust yourself to navigate whatever comes up.

I remember being on the beach years ago, completely self-conscious about my body, wondering if Craig thought I was attractive. Now? I can literally point out a gorgeous woman to him and feel completely secure because I trust myself and our connection. That's the power of self-trust! ✨

How to Break the Overthinking Cycle When It Hits

When you catch yourself spiraling about the vacation, here's what to do:

Get present in your body. Overthinking lives in your head, but healing happens in your body. Take some deep breaths, feel your feet on the ground, notice what's actually happening right now (not the stories your brain is creating).

Question the narrative. Ask yourself: "Is this thought helping me feel more connected and secure, or is it creating distance and anxiety?" If it's the latter, it's probably just your fear talking, not reality.

Practice the pause. Before you send that long text or ask for the 17th time if they had fun, PAUSE. Ask yourself what you really need in this moment—and see if you can give that to yourself first.

Focus on what IS rather than what MIGHT BE. Your brain wants to future-trip and create problems that don't exist yet. Bring yourself back to what's actually true right now.

Remember gorgeous, you don't have to be perfect at this! Even I still catch my old patterns sometimes. The difference is now I have tools to handle them instead of letting them run my life. 🤩

Next Steps For The Anxious Girly

If you resonated with this episode (and I know you did, boo!), here are your next steps:

Start building your self-trust muscle daily - Keep small promises to yourself and notice when you're seeking external validation vs. trusting your own knowing
Practice nervous system regulation - Spend time in nature, move your body, do things that help you feel grounded and present
Get curious about your patterns - Notice when you start overthinking and ask yourself what you're really afraid of underneath
Find your support system - Join the Healing Girl Gang where you can connect with other women who get this journey

Remember, healing isn't linear. No effort is wasted! You're exactly where you need to be on your journey to becoming secure. And trust me when I say that the peace on the other side is SO worth it.

Key Moments in This Episode

[0:00] Welcome and introduction to post-vacation overthinking
[2:36] Claire's personal story about the Philippines and Japan trip
[4:52] How significant moments create emotional charge and overthinking
[7:38] The sneaky habit of overthinking and old patterns resurfacing
[10:21] Second-guessing and self-doubt patterns that emerge post-vacation
[15:21] Hotline question from Jennifer about external validation addiction
[18:27] How external validation works like a drug and creates dependency

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