Why Your Post-Vacation Relationship Anxiety Keeps Coming Back
Jul 14, 2025Are you spiraling the moment you get back from vacation? Going from cloud nine to complete overthinking mode the second you're apart? Girl, your post-vacation relationship anxiety is totally normal—and I'm here to help you understand why it keeps happening and what to do about it! ๐
Ready to Ditch the Relationship Anxiety For Good?
Honey, if you're DONE with the constant overthinking and ready to feel secure AF in your relationships, I've got you covered! Check out these game-changing resources:
๐ Healing Girl Gang: Your new sisterhood of support - JOIN NOW
๐ฅ The Confidence Code: My signature program to heal anxious attachment from the inside out - TRANSFORM YOUR LOVE LIFE
๐ Self-Sabotage Slay-Over: Stop getting in your own way - CLAIM YOUR POWER
๐ VIP 1:1 Coaching: Personalized support just for you - BOOK YOUR SESSION
Let's Keep This Healing Party Going! ๐
- ๐บ YouTube: Subscribe for Weekly Inspo
- ๐ธ Instagram: Join the Healing Fam
- ๐ฅ TikTok: More Healing Goodness
Your most secure, confident self is waiting. Let's make it happen, bb! ๐
The Honeymoon Bubble: Why Vacation Feels So Good
Let's start with the obvious—vacation time with your partner feels AMAZING, right? But here's what's actually happening: you're creating what I call a "honeymoon bubble." ๐ซง
This bubble is manufactured closeness, gorgeous. Think about it:
- You're sharing hotel rooms, cars, and every meal
- There's dedicated, uninterrupted quality time
- You're both stress-free and on vacation mode
- The normal routine is completely gone
But here's the thing—this intensity isn't sustainable. And when you're anxiously attached, that manufactured closeness feels like safety. It's like, "Yes! There's no escape! We're together ALL the time!" ๐
I remember our first vacation to the Outer Banks—we were literally sharing a bathroom, brushing teeth together, the whole nine yards. It was this weird, condensed time that felt so intimate but wasn't actually normal life.
The honeymoon bubble is a beautiful part of relationships, but it's also a distraction from real life. And when you have anxious attachment, you can mistake this manufactured intensity for true security.
The Closeness Crash: When Reality Hits
Eventually, you have to go back to real life. You have to go back to work, your apartment, your normal routine. And that's when the closeness crash happens. ๐ฎ๐จ
Here's what's really going on: that external source of manufactured proximity has to go away. The dedicated quality time, the intense focus on your relationship—it all has to dissolve because you're going back to normal life.
Your mind will frame this as a loss. Even though nothing bad is happening, even though you're just returning to your regular life, your anxious attachment system interprets this as danger.
I experienced this myself after Craig and I came back from our month-long trip to Japan and the Philippines. Even though we'd been together 24/7 for a whole month and had such an amazing time, I still felt that familiar well of emotion and those anxious thoughts creeping in.
The tide goes in, the tide goes out. During vacation, the tide is really in—you're close together for days. But eventually, we have to go back to normal life, and that ebb away from closeness can feel like loss.
The Expectation and Confirmation Bias Gap
This is where it gets really tricky, boo. That increase in intensity during vacation often increases your expectations. You start thinking, "Oh, it's supposed to be like this forever and ever!" ๐คฉ
But that's just not real. And I say this as someone who's been married for 6 years and literally lived in an RV with my husband for three years—that level of constant closeness isn't sustainable!
With anxious attachment, any deviation from the pattern feels threatening. I used to get triggered when Craig would say something like, "I can't wait to get back to normal." In my mind, that felt like a threat because my internal rulebook said that distance equals danger.
Here's what happens: if you have a rulebook that says closeness and predictability equal safety, any deviation—even going back to normal life—will trigger your anxiety. You'll start looking for confirmation that something is wrong, even when everything is actually fine.
The truth is, you want to feel safe no matter what—whether it's vacation or not, whether your partner is right next to you or halfway across the world. That's true security, and that's what we're working toward. โจ
The Real Solution: Building Internal Safety
The cycle actually can stop, gorgeous. You can feel safe no matter what. You can trust yourself no matter the distance or what happened during your vacation.
Creating that inner sense of safety is all about having the right tools and support. It's about developing the capacity internally so you have your own scaffolding and structure.
When you're aligned with yourself, when you understand your own inner subconscious and how you protect yourself, you start to work with that instead of against it. You develop the tools and capacity to feel secure whether you're on vacation or in regular life.
This isn't about never going on vacation or not enjoying those beautiful close moments. It's about not needing that manufactured closeness to feel safe. It's about feeling secure in yourself regardless of external circumstances.
Why This Pattern Keeps Repeating
If you're a high-achieving woman who's slaying in your career but struggling with relationship anxiety, this pattern probably feels extra frustrating. ๐คฆ๐ปโ๏ธ
You're used to being able to control outcomes through your actions. You got the degrees, the promotions, the corner office because you worked hard. But healthy relationships aren't about what you DO—they're about who you're BEING.
The post-vacation anxiety keeps happening because:
- You're seeking safety through external closeness instead of internal security
- You're treating your relationship anxiety like a problem to solve rather than a nervous system to regulate
- You haven't addressed the root wound that makes distance feel dangerous
Your Healing Journey Starts Here
Remember, sweet soul, you're not broken. There's nothing to "fix" because you're not broken. This is about having the right information, support, and tangible steps to move from where you are to where you want to be. ๐
The good news? This is all totally doable. You can absolutely learn to feel secure whether you're on vacation or not. You can trust the process and trust yourself.
It takes having the tools, the support, and the guidance to create that inner sense of safety. And that's exactly what we do in the Healing Girl Gang—we give you the structure and support to make lasting change happen.
Next Steps For The Anxious Girly
If you resonated with this episode (and I know you did, boo!), here are your next steps:
- Notice the pattern - Start observing when your anxiety spikes after vacations or close time together
- Practice self-compassion - This response is totally normal and doesn't mean anything is wrong with you or your relationship
- Focus on nervous system regulation - Use grounding techniques when you feel that post-vacation anxiety creeping in
- Join the Healing Girl Gang - Get support from other girlies who totally get what you're going through
Remember, healing isn't linear. No effort is wasted! You're exactly where you need to be on your journey to becoming secure. And trust me when I say that the peace on the other side is SO worth it.
Key Moments in This Episode
- [0:00] Introduction to post-vacation relationship anxiety and why it keeps happening
- [8:47] The honeymoon bubble: why vacation time feels so manufactured and intense
- [13:35] The closeness crash: what happens when you return to real life
- [17:07] The expectation and confirmation bias gap that keeps you stuck
- [20:13] Why you want to feel safe no matter what external circumstances
- [22:28] How this cycle can actually stop with the right tools and support
- [23:07] Ashley's question about overcoming jealousy and betrayal fears
Related Posts You'll Love:
- How to Feel Secure When You're Apart in Your Relationship
- Stop Overthinking in Relationships: The Ultimate Guide
- How to Stop Needing Constant Reassurance in Your Relationship
- 3 Reasons Your Anxious Attachment Isn't Healing
Remember gorgeous, your healing journey is unique. Be gentle with yourself, and know that you're never alone in this process. The Healing Girl Gang has your back! ๐ซ
