Are you constantly putting your life on pause for someone else? Saving space for that "maybe" text or holding back from plans in case they become available? Girl, your anxious attachment is keeping you from living your best life—and I'm here to help you break free from this exhausting cycle! 💕

Ready to Ditch the Relationship Anxiety For Good?

Honey, if you're DONE with the constant overthinking and ready to feel secure AF in your relationships, I've got you covered! Check out these game-changing resources:

💖 Healing Girl Gang: Your new sisterhood of support - JOIN NOW

💥 The Confidence Code: My signature program to heal anxious attachment from the inside out - TRANSFORM YOUR LOVE LIFE

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Your most secure, confident self is waiting. Let's make it happen, bb! 💜

Why You're Living Your Worst Life (Not Your Best)

Let's get real for a second, boo. If you're listening to this podcast, there's a sneaky feeling that you're not living your best life—you're actually living your worst life. 🙈

I know this because I've been there. I was the queen of putting my life on pause, constantly holding space for another person, waiting in the land of "what if." What if he calls? What if he texts? What if we could hang out?

Here's the thing that hit me like a ton of bricks: life is happening NOW. When you put the pause button on yourself, you're not living to your fullest. And honestly, do you want to be with somebody who's half-assing their life? Because that's exactly what we do when we're stuck in anxious attachment patterns.

The media (looking at you, Disney!) fed us this narrative that our white knight is out there, and we need to be available and ready. But this creates a vicious cycle where we can't actually live our best life because we're constantly pausing for another person.

The Starvation Cycle That's Ruining Your Relationships

Think about this analogy: it's like waiting to eat and then you can't make good decisions at the end of the day because you're starving. 😮‍💨

When you neglect your own needs and then they come to you after their guys' night, you're foaming at the mouth—and that's not cute energy for anyone involved!

If you are starving because you've neglected your own needs, and then they show up, you're in this desperate, hungry energy that's overwhelming for them and exhausting for you. This is why feeling full within ourselves is so crucial for healthy relationships.

We have to be full within ourselves to feel full in our relationships. Otherwise, we're waiting for somebody else to fill us up, and that's just not sustainable energy.

Living in the Land of "What If" (Spoiler: It's Fantasy!)

Here's some tough love: anxiety is about the future, and the future is fantasy. 🌟

Think about it—the past is history, and the future is fantasy. How would you define fantasy? It's not real! Just like those sexy bat boys in romance novels (okay, maybe I read too many fantasy books 🤩), the future scenarios you're creating in your head may not even exist.

You're putting all this time and energy into something that might not happen. The thing you're scared of? It might not even exist! And even if it does happen, who are you going to be when that "shoe drops"? Are you going to crumble, or are you going to handle it like the badass you are?

Choice is yours, gorgeous. Every moment, you have the ability to choose. Are you going to choose to be with your fear, or are you going to choose to be present in the now?

The Surprising Lesson I Learned From My Yoga Journey

Let me share a personal story that changed everything for me. When I met Craig, I was doing my 500-hour yoga teacher training—a two-year commitment that meant going away for weekends every few months. 🧘‍♀️

With full anxious attachment mode activated, can you imagine choosing to go away and leave my person? But I committed to my growth, and you know what happened? It was the best decision ever.

Because I was filling myself up through my yoga practice, and Craig was satisfied with his recreational soccer league, we both came together from a place of fullness. This helped lessen the push-pull dynamic we were playing out.

When you're both satisfied in other areas of your life, coming together becomes so much sweeter. You're not desperately clinging or saving space—you're showing up as your full, vibrant self.

You Don't Earn Your Best Life After Healing—You Live It NOW

Here's the plot twist that changed my entire perspective: you don't live your best life after you earn secure attachment—you live your best life NOW, and that's how you move toward secure attachment. ✨

Stop waiting for permission to live fully. Stop putting your dreams, your friendships, your adventures on hold for someone else's availability. Your best life isn't a reward you get after healing—it's the path TO healing.

When you choose to live fully in the present moment, you become the kind of person who attracts and maintains secure, healthy relationships. Because secure people are attracted to other people who are living their lives to the fullest!

Breaking Free From the "Shoe Dropping" Mindset

Let me ask you something that might blow your mind: what if the shoe doesn't drop? 👠

What if you're waiting for a shoe that doesn't even exist? What if you're just barefoot and there's no shoe to drop at all?

Even if something difficult does happen, you have a choice in how you respond. You can either let fear dictate how you act now, or you can choose to be present with what's actually happening right now—which is that you're with your person, you're holding hands, it's actually happening.

Next Steps For The Anxious Girly

If you resonated with this episode (and I know you did, boo!), here are your next steps:

1. Start living your best life TODAY - Don't wait for secure attachment to give yourself permission to pursue your dreams and interests
2. Practice being present in your body - When anxiety hits, orient yourself to what's actually happening right now, not the fantasy scenarios in your head
3. Fill yourself up regularly - Pursue activities, friendships, and interests that light you up so you're not depending on your partner to be your only source of fulfillment
4. Join the Healing Girl Gang - Connect with other amazing women who are on this same healing journey and get the support you deserve

Remember, healing isn't linear. No effort is wasted! You're exactly where you need to be on your journey to becoming secure. And trust me when I say that the peace on the other side is SO worth it.

Key Moments in This Episode

• [0:00] Welcome and why you're probably living your worst life, not your best
• [2:08] The Disney narrative and saving space for your "white knight"
• [4:30] Why putting your life on pause creates a vicious cycle
• [6:30] The starvation analogy and why you need to feel full within yourself
• [12:15] The future is fantasy—anxiety about what might happen isn't real
• [14:30] How my yoga teacher training saved my relationship with Craig
• [17:00] You live your best life NOW to earn secure attachment, not after

Related Posts You'll Love:

• The Instant Fix for Anxious Attachment Triggers (That Actually Works)
• 4 Anxious Attachment Mistakes High-Achievers Make (And How to Fix Them)
• How To Stop Needing Constant Reassurance in Your Relationship
• Why You Keep Pushing Good People Away (And How to Stop)

Remember gorgeous, your healing journey is unique. Be gentle with yourself, and know that you're never alone in this process. The Healing Girl Gang has your back! 💫