Anxiously Attached to ENGAGED?!
Apr 18, 2025Are you constantly overthinking every text? Feeling like you're walking on eggshells with your partner during important conversations? Wondering if your anxiety is ruining a potentially amazing relationship? Girl, I've been there—and so have my clients who went from anxious attachment to engaged in just a few months! 💕
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The Anxious-to-Engaged Success Stories You Need to Hear
Let me tell you something that has me absolutely BURSTING with excitement right now—in the past 60 days, not one but TWO of my clients have gone from anxious attachment to engagement territory! One is officially engaged, and the other is "casually" looking at rings with her boyfriend. Like, WHAT?! 🤩
As a relationship coach for high-achieving women, these are the moments that make my heart absolutely explode with joy. Because I know firsthand how challenging the journey from anxious attachment to secure love can be.
These weren't just small shifts in their relationships—we're talking complete transformations. Women who once spent hours spiraling over a delayed text message are now confidently discussing marriage with partners who adore them exactly as they are. Women who once avoided difficult conversations at all costs are now navigating life's biggest decisions with ease and connection.
And here's what I want you to know: if they can do it, so can you. Their success wasn't about manipulating or tricking anyone into putting a ring on it (ew, not our vibe here!)—it was about facing their fears and committing to their own healing. Let me show you how they did it! 👑
Client T: From Hyper-Independent to Happily Engaged
One of my incredible clients (let's call her T) came to me with what probably sounds familiar to you: hyper-independence, overthinking, and a tendency to put up barriers that kept love at arm's length.
When she first reached out, she said: "My likelihood to jump to negative conclusions and the amount of anxiety I have around dating is extremely high." She described constantly feeling like she was "doing something wrong" in relationships and getting in her own way.
T had spent TWO FULL YEARS working on herself before we connected. She'd gotten to a place where her friendships and family relationships were flourishing, her career was thriving, but romantic relationships still triggered massive anxiety.
Fast forward to her completion assessment after our work together—the transformation was STUNNING. On a scale of 1-10, her confidence, mindset, and self-trust all went from 1s to 9s! ✨
In her own words: "The biggest thing I've noticed is that I am sincere in my belief that I am deserving of love. I trust the universe and how things work out. I have an extremely healthy relationship and have healed my anxious attachment. I never imagined I could be in a relationship this incredible and be loved and get to love a guy this incredible. I will never go back to believing that I'm not worthy of it."
Not only did she heal her anxious attachment, but she moved to another COUNTRY with her partner—and now they're engaged! This wasn't about tricking someone into commitment. This was about her becoming secure enough to recognize and receive the love that was already there. 💖
Client G: From Weekend Fights to Wedding Rings
My second client (we'll call her G) is a corporate director for a major sports team—another classic high-achieving girlie who was excelling in her career but struggling with relationship anxiety.
I remember when we first connected. She was on vacation with her boyfriend—what should have been a fun, relaxing trip—when they got into a massive fight. This wasn't just any argument; it was the kind that makes you question everything about the relationship.
Sound familiar? That pre-flight or post-trip fight is a classic anxious attachment pattern. You've had a great time together, maybe even felt more connected than ever, and then BOOM—something snaps, and you're in full anxiety spiral mode. 🙈
G decided to work with me after that incident, and within just FIVE MONTHS, she went from post-vacation meltdowns to casually browsing engagement rings with her boyfriend!
The conversation wasn't tense or pressure-filled—it was playful and fun. She showed him a ring she liked, and he joked, "That's not big enough! How about these?" They were able to discuss their future with ease, connection, and even humor.
This kind of transformation isn't magic—it's what happens when you commit to the process and face your fears head-on. G put in the work consistently, and the results speak for themselves.
The Common Denominator in These Success Stories
So what do these two success stories have in common? What's the secret sauce that took these women from anxious attachment to engagement? 💫
After working with dozens of clients who've experienced similar transformations (even if not all of them ended in engagement—that's not everyone's goal!), I've identified the core quality that makes all the difference:
They faced their fears and were committed to working through them.
That's it. That's the not-so-secret secret.
Both of these women:
- Were radically honest with themselves
- Made zero excuses
- Didn't play the blame game
- Followed through on their commitments
- Prioritized their healing DAILY (not just when it felt convenient)
- Trusted the process even when it felt uncomfortable
The clients who get the most dramatic results aren't necessarily the smartest or the most accomplished—they're the ones who are willing to get uncomfortable and stay committed.
What "Facing Your Fears" Actually Looks Like
Now, "face your fears" might sound like generic advice, but let me break down what this actually looks like in practice. 🔍
For most high-achieving women, getting things done for OTHER people is easy. You can deliver on work projects, show up for friends, throw the perfect party, and be there for your family—no problem! But showing up consistently for YOURSELF? That's where things get tricky.
Facing your fears means:
- Sitting with uncomfortable emotions instead of intellectualizing them
- Having difficult conversations instead of avoiding conflict
- Setting boundaries even when you're afraid of rejection
- Expressing needs even when you're worried about being "too much"
- Trusting the process even when you don't see immediate results
One thing I've noticed about my most successful clients is that they don't treat healing like a weekend project—they understand it's a daily practice. And yes, sometimes it's boring! Self-soothing isn't always exciting or Instagram-worthy, but it's what creates lasting change.
The Craig & Claire 180° Transformation
Let me share a personal example that illustrates this transformation. My husband Craig and I recently had dinner and discussed some major life changes—selling our tiny home after three years of nomadic living, making big financial decisions, and planning our next chapter.
What struck me during this conversation was how drastically different it felt from similar discussions early in our relationship. 🤯
When we first started dating, these types of conversations were LOADED with tension. Talking about moving in together? Terrifying. Money discussions? Absolutely not. Big future plans? Recipe for a fight.
But there we were, enjoying amazing food and drinks, looking each other in the eye, discussing life-changing decisions—and feeling completely connected and aligned through it all. No one got triggered, no one shut down, and we both felt heard and respected.
This kind of transformation isn't accidental or lucky—it's what happens when both partners commit to growth and healing. For us, it meant unlearning harmful patterns, developing communication skills, and building a foundation of trust that can withstand life's biggest challenges.
Next Steps For The Anxious Girly
If you resonated with this episode (and I know you did, boo!), here are your next steps:
- Get radically honest with yourself about where you're at in your healing journey and what's actually working versus what's just keeping you busy
- Commit to daily practices that build security and self-regulation, even when it feels boring or inconvenient
- Face the fears that are keeping you stuck instead of working around them or pretending they don't exist
- Join the Healing Girl Gang for community support and structured guidance on this journey 💖
Remember, healing isn't linear. No effort is wasted! You're exactly where you need to be on your journey to becoming secure. And trust me when I say that the peace on the other side is SO worth it.
Key Moments in This Episode
- [0:00] Introduction to the "Anxious to Engaged" success stories
- [0:42] Claire shares she's preparing for her own retreat while celebrating client wins
- [1:35] Who this podcast is for—high-achieving women who excel in career but struggle with relationship anxiety
- [3:04] The exciting news about two clients finding secure love and engagement
- [4:04] Claire shares her personal transformation with Craig around difficult conversations
- [8:17] Client T's journey from hyper-independence to happy engagement
- [11:25] Client G's story of going from vacation fights to shopping for rings
- [17:49] The common denominator in successful attachment healing
- [19:33] What it means to be radically honest and committed to your healing
- [20:58] Why nobody is coming to save you—you have to do the work yourself
Related Posts You'll Love:
- Am I Triggered or Am I Right? And How to Tell the difference!
- The Instant Fix for Anxious Attachment Triggers (That Actually Works)
- 4 Anxious Attachment Mistakes High-Achievers Make (And How to Fix Them)
- When You Want More Effort From Your Partner (But It's Actually About You)
- How to feel Secure in your Anxious with an Avoidant Relationship Valentine's Edition!
Remember gorgeous, your healing journey is unique. Be gentle with yourself, and know that you're never alone in this process. The Healing Girl Gang has your back! 💫
