Healing Anxious Attachment

For high-achieving women who crush it everywhere except love. Discover how to stop overthinking, trust your intuition, and build the secure relationship you've always wanted—without dimming your shine.

Is It Intuition or Overthinking? The Truth About Your Relationship Gut Feelings

anxious-attachment-patterns anxious-relationship-thoughts attachment-style-healing intuition-or-anxiety overthinking-partner-behavior relationship-gut-feelings relationship-overthinking Jul 21, 2025

Are you constantly spiraling about your relationship? Wondering if that nagging feeling is your intuition trying to tell you something—or just your anxious brain making up drama? Girl, I feel you SO hard on this, and I'm about to blow your mind with what's really happening when you can't tell the difference! 💕

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The Attachment That's Blocking Your Intuition (And It's Not What You Think)

Okay gorgeous, let's dive straight into the tea ☕ because this topic literally came up this week with one of my clients, and I KNOW you need to hear this!

She came to our session saying, "Claire, my overthinking was right! I had a feeling and it was right!" And hunny, I had to stop her right there because that's NOT what happened—and this is the exact confusion that keeps so many of us stuck in anxiety spirals.

Here's what's really going on: your attachment is cutting you off from your actual intuition. And I'm not just talking about your anxious attachment style—I'm talking about your attachment to outcomes, to ideas, to the "potential" of your relationship.

When we're attached to how things "should" go, we literally disconnect from what IS happening right now. It's like trying to hear your inner voice while standing next to a construction site—all that mental noise drowns out the quiet wisdom that's always there! 🙈

Why Your Overthinking Isn't Actually Intuition (Even When You're "Right")

Let me get real with you for a hot second. If overthinking actually worked, wouldn't we all be gazillionaires living our dream lives by now? 💅

The thing is, bb, just because you thought about something and then it happened doesn't mean your overthinking caused it or that it was intuitive guidance. That's like saying you caused it to rain because you brought an umbrella!

My client was in a long-distance relationship (and girl, I've BEEN there—my husband and I lived an hour and a half apart with Boulder traffic, so I get it). She had this feeling about something being off, but instead of trusting her gut, she got attached to making their limited time together "perfect."

Sound familiar? You get a feeling, but then you're like:

"I don't want to ruin our weekend together"
"Maybe I'm just being dramatic"
"I should just enjoy this time and deal with it later"

That attachment to the "ideal" visit, the "perfect" relationship moment—THAT'S what blocks your intuition, not protects it! ✨

The Body Image Example That'll Change How You See Attachment

Okay, slight trigger warning here for anyone sensitive to body image talk—feel free to skip to the next section if you need to! 💕

I used to struggle hardcore with body dysmorphia and disordered eating. And you know what made me the most miserable? My attachment to how my body "should" look. I was so fixated on this ideal that I couldn't actually BE in my body or listen to what it needed.

I cut myself off from hunger cues, from feeling full, from enjoying how my body felt because I was obsessed with how it looked. That attachment literally disconnected me from my body's wisdom—the same way attachment to relationship outcomes disconnects us from our intuitive knowing.

When I was most attached to the "should," I had zero connection to what actually WAS. And hunny, intuition lives in the present moment, not in our fantasies about the future! 🌟

The People-Pleasing Connection You Haven't Considered

Here's where it gets juicy—so many of my clients (maybe you too?) struggle with people-pleasing as a fear mechanism. And this creates the PERFECT storm for blocking intuition.

My client felt something was off, but she was attached to:

Making their reunion "valuable" after being apart
Not wanting to "rile things up"
Being the "chill girl" who doesn't create drama
The idea of them as a couple

All of this attachment kept her from speaking up about her feeling until it exploded at the end of their time together. Classic people-pleasing move that we've ALL made! 🙈

The irony? By trying to preserve the "good time," she created exactly what she was trying to avoid. Attachment literally creates the problems we're trying to prevent.

How to Tell the Difference: The One Question That Changes Everything

Ready for the game-changer? When you're spiraling about whether something is intuition or anxiety, ask yourself:

"What am I attached to right now?"

Are you attached to:

This person being "the one"?
The relationship working out perfectly?
Not being single?
Proving you're not "crazy" or "too much"?
Being seen as the "low-maintenance" girlfriend?

If you can identify what you're grasping onto, you've found what's blocking your intuition. Because bb, intuition flows when we're present, not when we're attached to outcomes. 💕

The present moment is literally the only thing that matters, and when we can drop into it without all our "shoulds" and fears, we get messages ALL the time. The question is: are we listening? ✨

Your Intuition Is Always There (Here's How to Access It)

Your intuitive knowing never left you, gorgeous—it's just been drowned out by attachment noise! Think of it like this: your intuition is a gentle whisper, but attachment is like having 47 browser tabs open while listening to three podcasts.

The whisper is still there; you just can't hear it over all the mental chaos! 🤩

When I was most disconnected from my body (during my disordered eating phase), I spent literally EVERY DAY trying to disconnect from my hunger cues and body signals. And hunny, it caused so much misery that I spent two years healing my gut afterward.

The same thing happens in relationships—when we're not listening to our instincts because we're too attached to outcomes, we create suffering for ourselves and often end up with exactly what we were trying to avoid.

Next Steps For The Anxious Girly

If you resonated with this episode (and I know you did, boo!), here are your next steps:

Start noticing your attachments daily - Get curious about what you're grasping onto in each moment of relationship anxiety
Practice dropping into the present moment - Even 30 seconds of deep breathing can help you access your intuitive knowing
Ask "What am I attached to?" when spiraling - This question will become your best friend for cutting through mental noise
Join my upcoming intuition activation challenge - Check the show notes because I'm cooking up something GOOD for helping you turn on your inner guidance system!

Remember, healing isn't linear. No effort is wasted! You're exactly where you need to be on your journey to becoming secure. And trust me when I say that the peace on the other side is SO worth it.

Key Moments in This Episode

[0:07] The difference between intuition and overthinking in relationships explained
[1:30] Real client story about long-distance relationship anxiety and attachment
[4:02] Why "my overthinking was right" is actually a misconception
[5:01] How attachment causes the most misery in our human experience
[7:45] Personal body image example of how attachment blocks intuitive connection
[9:02] The people-pleasing connection that blocks relationship intuition
[11:15] The one question to ask yourself: "What am I attached to?"

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