Are you standing on that ledge feeling like you're about to spiral? Does that pit in your stomach tell you they're pulling away even when nothing's actually wrong? Girl, your overthinking is in overdrive—and I've got the perfect 5-minute pep talk to ground you right now! 💕

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This Makes Total Sense (And You're Not Broken)

First things first, gorgeous—what you're feeling right now makes COMPLETE sense. 🙈

If you've spent years working to make other people happy, seeking external validation, or tying your safety to someone else's mood, of course you're feeling this way! Our society literally celebrates external validation, so please don't beat yourself up for being human.

You've been conditioned since childhood to work for love, attention, and appreciation. When you've spent so much time and energy connecting your safety to somebody else, that anxious feeling in your gut is actually a normal response. You're not broken, boo—you're just in a state of dysregulation.

Think of it like being on a road trip—you can change from state to state, and right now you're just in the dysregulation state. But that doesn't mean you're broken. You are a gift, you are a child of the universe, and you can absolutely change your state starting right now! ✨

Your Power Is in This Present Moment

Here's where your real power lies: how present can you be right now? 👑

Just because you feel like they're being distant or moving away doesn't mean disaster is coming. I know it feels scary, but this is actually your invitation—your opportunity to move closer to yourself instead of chasing them.

When they pull back, that's your cue to:

• Stay close to yourself
• Stay close to how you feel
• Stay close to anything that feels tender
• Breathe into that exposed wound instead of running from it

The more we focus on what we can't control outside of us, the more we feel out of control internally. But the more you focus on staying present with yourself, the more centered you'll feel. 🤩

You Can Feel the Ache Without Chasing

This is such an important truth, babe: you can feel the discomfort and still choose not to chase them.

You're allowed to feel the ache. You're allowed to feel uncomfortable. But you don't have to turn that discomfort into desperate action. You can feel all of it and still choose to stay centered and rooted in yourself.

Take a deep breath right now. Seriously—breathe in through your nose, hold it, and breathe out through your mouth. You might need to do this several times, and that's totally okay. Even one breath can shift how you feel by just one milligram, and that's where your power starts! 💕

How Can You Choose Yourself Right Now?

Instead of spiraling into more scrolling or distraction (which won't help, gorgeous), ask yourself this game-changing question: How can you choose yourself right now?

Maybe that means:

• Taking a proper lunch break if you're at work
• Stepping outside to look at the sky and clouds
• Taking 10 more minutes for yourself
• Doing some gentle breathing exercises

More distraction isn't going to help you. More scrolling definitely won't help. The magic happens when you choose to be loving and nourishing to yourself and turn your focus internally.

Remember—it's not about doing it perfectly! Perfect doesn't exist, and trying to be perfect will only make you feel more out of control. It's about the intention behind what you choose and who you're being when you make that choice. 🙈

Ground Yourself With Intentional Breathing

If you have a moment right now, try this simple breathing technique that will help you feel more centered:

• 4 seconds inhale, 4 seconds exhale
• Then stretch it out to 5 seconds inhale, 5 seconds exhale
• Focus on longer, deeper breathing

This type of breathing is going to help regulate your nervous system and bring you back to yourself. If you're in that spiral right now, you need to make the space for yourself—nobody else is going to do it for you, boo! ✨

The key is doing this in a loving way, not a critical way. Be gentle with yourself as you practice coming back to center.

Next Steps For The Anxious Girly

If you resonated with this episode (and I know you did, boo!), here are your next steps:

1. Practice the 4-4 breathing technique whenever you feel that spiral starting—even one breath can shift your state
2. Ask yourself "how can I choose myself right now?" instead of reaching for your phone to check their status
3. Focus on your inner world with love rather than trying to control what's happening outside of you
4. Join the Healing Girl Gang for ongoing support when these spirals hit

Remember, healing isn't linear. No effort is wasted! You're exactly where you need to be on your journey to becoming secure. And trust me when I say that the peace on the other side is SO worth it.

Key Moments in This Episode

• [0:08] Why this 5-minute pep talk is perfect for your overthinking spiral moments
• [1:19] Understanding that your anxious response actually makes total sense
• [2:18] How you're in dysregulation, not broken (and why that matters!)
• [3:37] The invitation to move closer to yourself when they pull away
• [4:49] How to feel the ache without choosing to chase them
• [5:19] The game-changing question: "How can you choose yourself right now?"
• [6:45] Simple breathing techniques to regulate your nervous system in the moment

Related Posts You'll Love:

• The Instant Fix for Anxious Attachment Triggers (That Actually Works)
• 4 Anxious Attachment Mistakes High-Achievers Make (And How to Fix Them)
• Am I Triggered or Am I Right? And How to Tell the difference!
• Stopping the Systemic Self Sabotage and Relationship Anxiety

Remember gorgeous, your healing journey is unique. Be gentle with yourself, and know that you're never alone in this process. The Healing Girl Gang has your back! 💫