Healing Anxious Attachment

For high-achieving women who crush it everywhere except love. Discover how to stop overthinking, trust your intuition, and build the secure relationship you've always wanted—without dimming your shine.

3 Things I Learned to Finally Stop Overthinking (Life-Changing!)

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Are you stuck in that endless loop of replaying conversations and making up worst-case scenarios? Constantly pushing yourself to the next step instead of just being present? Girl, I just got back from the most transformative experience that completely shifted how I approach overthinking—and I'm spilling ALL the tea! 💕

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The Wilderness Experience That Changed Everything

Helloooo gorgeous! 👋🏽 I just got back from what I can only describe as the most profound, life-changing experience of my life. We're talking about a six-week journey that culminated with me literally opting in to be abandoned on a mountain (and yes, I nearly pooped in a tent, but we'll get to that! 🙈).

If you're the type of girly who replays conversations, analyzes every text, and spirals when someone doesn't put an emoji in their goodnight message, this episode is going to be a game-changer for you. I'm talking about the kind of deep, cellular-level healing that stops overthinking in relationships at its root.

And bb, let me tell you—as someone who has always operated from a place of constant push, constant doing, constant achieving—this experience literally stripped away a layer of defense I didn't even know was there. ✨

Thing #1: Learning to Actually Listen to Your Body (Not Just Think About It)

You know how we're always told to "listen to your body" but like... what does that actually mean? 🤔 Through this cleanse and wilderness experience, I discovered what it REALLY looks like to tune into your body's signals.

For the first time in my life, I stripped away all distractions—no food distractions, no sugar, no caffeine. It was like putting on noise-cancelling headphones for my nervous system. Suddenly, I could hear what my body was actually telling me versus what my anxiety was screaming.

One of the biggest questions I get is: "How do I know if it's my gut feeling or just anxiety?" And bb, this experience gave me the clearest answer. When you remove all the external noise and truly slow down, your body's wisdom becomes SO obvious. It's like the difference between trying to have a conversation at a concert versus in a quiet room.

This is such foundational work for healing anxious attachment because when you can't trust your own internal signals, you're constantly seeking external validation and reassurance.

Thing #2: Breaking the Constant Push Energy (Even in Relationships)

Can we talk about this for a second? 👑 I realized I was operating from this constant push energy in EVERYTHING—my workouts, my career, and especially my relationships.

In relationships, this looked like:

Always wanting to get to the next step (first date → second date → official → moving in → ring)
Being the "perfect girlfriend" who could do it all
Clearing my calendar to always be available
Creating this imaginary checklist of what made me worthy of love

Sound familiar, gorgeous? This constant doing and pushing was actually my anxious attachment trying to create safety through control and performance.

But here's what I learned sitting alone with trees for days: safety is something you FEEL, not something you create through a checklist. When I had literally nothing to do but exist (my tent was up, my latrine was built), I had to confront this deep programming that said I always had to be productive to be worthy.

The breakthrough came when I could finally just rest, just be, and trust that I was safe without constantly doing something. That cellular-level trust? That's what actually stops the relationship overthinking spiral.

Thing #3: Understanding the TRUE Power of Your Mind (Plot Twist!)

Okay bb, this one is going to blow your mind just like it did mine! 🤩

Picture this: I'm staring at the same trees from dawn until dusk for DAYS. These trees are literally protecting me from the rain and elements. But the moment darkness falls, my mind turns these same protective trees into something scary and threatening.

I'm talking full Blair Witch Project vibes, thinking I'm seeing things in the shadows, hearing bats (which honestly, there probably were bats, but still!). The next morning, I'd look outside and be like, "Girl, these are the SAME trees that have been keeping you safe all day!"

The truth was the trees were there to protect me. My mind wanted to make up that they were out to get me.

This was such a visceral, undeniable experience of how powerful our minds are at creating stories that aren't true. The same mind that can convince you your partner is "done" with the relationship because they didn't respond to your text fast enough? Yeah, that mind. 🙈

This is why all the surface-level overthinking fixes don't work long-term. We have to address the root of how our minds create stories and learn to distinguish between truth and mental chatter.

The Physical Healing That Changed My Self-Talk Forever

Now, let's talk about the tent situation because it's actually crucial to the overthinking piece! 💕

I was feeling nauseous and weak for most of the experience, and then things got... interesting. Let's just say my body was doing a serious detox, and by Thursday night it was POURING rain. I'm lying in my tent thinking, "Do I really want to get up in the middle of the night to go outside?"

So I literally laid out a gallon Ziploc bag next to my sleeping bag, put wet wipes on top, and made total peace with potentially pooping in my tent. And you know what? I felt so much love and appreciation for my body in that moment.

This was revolutionary for someone who used to be incredibly harsh and critical with herself. Instead of judgment, I felt gentleness. Instead of criticism, I felt compassion. My body was healing, purging, doing what it needed to do, and I could honor that process.

This shift in how I talked to my body when it wasn't "performing perfectly" directly translates to stopping the self-doubt cycle in relationships. When you can be gentle with yourself in your most vulnerable moments, you stop looking for others to validate your worth.

How This Translates to Your Relationship Overthinking

Here's the thing, gorgeous—all three of these lessons work together to heal overthinking at its core:

When you learn to listen to your body, you can distinguish between intuition and anxiety, which means you stop second-guessing every interaction.

When you break the constant push energy, you stop trying to control your relationship's timeline and can actually be present with what is.

When you understand your mind's power, you can catch yourself creating scary stories about neutral situations (like a short text or a delayed response).

The result? You become someone who can show up exactly as you are in relationships, trusting that you're safe and worthy without having to perform or control outcomes. That's true relationship security, bb! ✨

Next Steps For The Anxious Girly

If you resonated with this episode (and I know you did, boo!), here are your next steps:

Start a daily body check-in practice - Even 5 minutes of asking "How does my body feel right now?" without trying to fix anything
Notice your push energy in relationships - When do you feel like you need to DO something to feel worthy of love?
Question your mind's stories - Next time you spiral, ask "Is this true, or is this a story my mind is creating?"
Join the Healing Girl Gang for deeper support and our monthly overthinking detox sessions

Remember, healing isn't linear. No effort is wasted! You're exactly where you need to be on your journey to becoming secure. And trust me when I say that the peace on the other side is SO worth it.

Key Moments in This Episode

[0:06] Why she's sharing her three game-changing overthinking lessons
[6:33] The constant push energy that was showing up in all areas of life
[10:23] What it actually feels like to listen to your body without distractions
[13:32] The imaginary girlfriend checklist and hamster wheel mentality
[17:42] How the mind creates scary stories from the same safe situations
[22:25] The tent situation and learning radical self-compassion
[25:59] Q&A about long-distance relationships and spiraling after breakups

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